Al's St. Patrick's Day Holy Trinity

 

The Holy Trinity

 

It has been said that during the fifth century when St. Patrick was trying to convert the native peoples of Ireland to Catholicism he used a simple shamrock to explain the Holy Trinity. If you don’t know what the Trinity is (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) just pretend you do for now. Not being a man of the church myself, no offence, or perhaps just inadvertently, to the followers of the faith, I have my own Holy Trinity, and I practice its catechism each and every 17th of March. For, what better way to honor that famous Saint than to embrace the holy three from Eireann’s isle; Bailey’s, Guinness, and Bushmills, on his revered day of remembrance?

So I share with you my St. Patrick’s Day rituals through three drinks, timed well throughout and balanced for occasion. It is something of a marathon so remember to pace yourself, it does you no good to be passed out from drink come noon and be missing the rest of the day.

Ulster Fry, from Norn Iron

In the Morn: Play a bit of music, and eat a hearty Breakfast for the day will be long. If you are feeling adventurous try an Ulster Fry it will definitely fill the stomach. I always start my day with a cup of coffee or tea, and on any regular day a sugar or two suffices to liven it up. But today is not just any day, so we start off by mixing in a bit of Bailey’s Irish cream with our morning coffee, just to get things gliding along. You could go with a traditional Irish Coffee as well, but I found out long ago that drinking whiskey at 8:00 or 9:00 in the morning is not only frowned upon by society, it also has the negative effect of weakening the constitution too quickly. For some reason Bailey’s is OK on Holidays.

Bailey's and coffee, 3-4 of these to start.

Bailey’s & Coffee

Ingredients:1 cup of good strong coffee
1-1.5 oz. Bailey’s Irish Cream
1 tsp. sugar (optional)

Method:
Pour your coffee, add baileys and sugar then stir. I do not ever recall actually measuring out the Irish cream, a squint of the eye and a tip of the bottle seems to suffice.

Afternoon: Traditionally a visit to the Pub is in order at some point during the afternoon, however long ago I stopped making this pilgrimage for Pints of celebration. This is due to several factors not the least of which is that most loathsome of concoctions “Green Beer or Ale”. I have yet to come across a person with a glass of that in hand who after but a moment or two I’ve not felt like maiming in some cruel way. It is vile, “Plastic” and has the magical power to summon what I call “an instant Eejit”. I prefer to have my pint of Guinness poured properly or a nice half & half served with a clear line of float, neither of which are guaranteed on this day due to all the attention being given to mixing up pitchers of “Green Plastic Paddy”. So I pour at home and avoid being locked up for assault.

About right.

 Pints of Guinness

Ingredients:
16 oz. Guinness
A fecking pint glass

Method:
Pour the Guinness slowly into a tipped glass and let it settle for a few minutes.

Don’t overdo it with the pints five or six should suffice to prime yourself for dinner which will be there before you know it. Or you can simply skip the meal and add two more pints of the black and a bit of soda bread to absorb it.

Evening: The music gets turned down to a dull roar as darkness begins to creep in. And if you have skipped dinner your head takes a bit of a swim. If this happens eat something light and wash your face with cold water, always works for me. Now is the time to reflect upon your day and all the things you have not accomplished, better perhaps to chat with a friend or two over a glass of your favorite Irish Whiskey. Note I say friend, for having to dance around in polite, politically correct, discussion with people at this point is pretty much a losing proposition, friends accept you for who you are even if you do end up giving them a cuff or two for being a Hippie. Steer clear of anyone who does not seem to be enjoying the Holiday as much as you are (your wife for example) and this part of the day will go off well.

 

Because I am a man and don't care what you think.

 

Whiskey Rocks

Ingredients:
2 -3 oz. Irish Whiskey (I prefer Bushmills ten year old Single Malt)
Rocks/Old Fashion glass
Ice

Method:
Add a couple of ice cubes to the rocks glass, then pour your whiskey in over it and serve. Let the ice seep a bit and give the drink a wee swish with your wrist. This is a sipping drink to be enjoyed with a fine cigar, pipe, or cigarette. Let the warmth envelop you as the day winds down, and you toast a parting glass to your mates.

So there you have my St. Patrick’s Day Holy Trinity, if controlled and consumed in moderation you’ll have no problem finding your way to bed. If not? Well, I pray you wake not in a dumpster or beside the woman you thought was Christina Hendricks but in the Morning's early light turns out to be a Rosie O’Donnell look alike.

Please drink Responsibly. Really!
 

Cheers
AL