A Cranky Grandma.

by Al Butler


Cranky Grandma with a lemon twist.

A few weeks ago while out and about with my wife I had a delightful libation at an Italian restaurant in Freeport Maine. The bar had a menu of specialty drinks which really caught my “Cocktilian” (new word) eye and I felt safe in trying something a bit different. From the various and somewhat unique ingredients listed beside each house cocktail I could tell right away that the bartenders took special care with their craft, so in my mind, it was time to try something new.

The drink I chose was what we at Booze & Board Games are calling “A Cranky Grandma”. We had to rename it because I was bit knackered at the restaurant and could not remember the original. Anyway, our friend and sometime player Brandon Keller came up with this name and I feel it fits pretty well with the ingredients and nature of the drink. Why Cranky Grandma? well I suppose because this is something your old granny might drink on a bad day, or maybe the lemon (sour) Elderflower (name is old) and none too sweet combination makes one think of  "Granny on a Rampage".

So, without much further ado we present “A Cranky Grandma”.

Ingredients:
1.5-2.0 oz. Quality Gin (Hendricks or Bombay Sapphire)
¼- ½ oz. Elderflower Liqueur (handpicked flowers are used to make this)
½ oz. of Fresh Squeezed Lemon Juice
Tonic water
Lemon wheel, wedge, or twist for Garnish

Method:
Fill a Collin’s glass with Ice, and then add your Gin. Now squeeze in your lemon juice, you can pre-squeeze a bunch of lemons ahead of time in preparation, or you can simply take a half of a medium lemon and squeeze it right into the glass. Top off with the Tonic water, and lastly add the Elderflower Liqueur. Give it a quick stir, attach your garnish and you are all set to go.

Elderflower Liqueur.

This is a simple and fast drink to mix up, but you should always add the Elderflower Liqueur last. The density of the Liqueur insures that it will drop to the bottom, in so doing the light herbal highlights of the Elderflower will blend better with the other components more so than simply stirring. Remember Tonic water flattens quickly when stirred so; gently with the bar spoon if you please.

Some of you are saying that this is nothing more than a fancy gin and tonic, or lemon Gin Rickey, and you are not far off. However the addition of Elderflower changes the dynamic of this drink in a subtle way. Elder flowers are handpicked by small French Peasant children who are beaten regularly if they do not meet their quotas. Their quick and delicate hands gently carry the flowers to their betters who in turn distill these wonderful herbs into liqueur. Only the best of the flowers are used, and woe betide any waif who dares bruise a single petal of the harvest. Child enslavement aside;  Elderflower liqueur adds a light floral flavor to the drink and enhances the botanicals in the spirit thus creating a nuanced experience.

How cute..now BACK TO WORK!

I for one really like this cocktail as it is quick, but tasteful. It reminds me of warm summer afternoons looking out over green fields neathe a blue sky. Of children joyfully singing a harvest song whilst they labor for my benefit, punctuated by a wee cry of fear every now and again as some urchin displeases the overseer. Hmmm the beauty of it all. 

Cheers
AL

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

A month or so ago someone mentioned this drink in a response to my Pairings post for Galaxy Trucker. Having no idea what a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster was supposed to be or even what strange realm of geekdom from whence it originated, I ignored the reference and moved on. I mean really, who would have thought that such a cocktail actually existed outside the sub-culture of Sci-Fi nerds as anything but an obscure reference? You know what I'm talking about, those utterly annoying bits of useless trivia that science fiction types whip out during conversations in an attempt to "One-Up" you with their super knowledge. These geeks can tell you the exact episode of Star Trek, even quoting the lines, in which Captain Kirk fell victim to a Klingon Sphincter Punch. Yet, they do not possess the most basic of personal hygiene, or understand why you just kicked them in the groin. (Just because).

So yeah I tend to ignore the little tid bits of nerd quiz trivia as they annoy me to no end.

However, as I have recently been assaulted with no less than three different references to the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster on three separate occasions I decided to look into it further. I will still probably "Rochambeau" anyone who decides to go into high cant nerd speak when talking around me, but on this item my curiosity got the better of me. So here is what I found:

"The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster was invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox, a major character in Douglas Adams' novel The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The fictional version of this drink is described as "like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon, wrapped 'round a large gold brick." It has also been described in the novel as the "alcoholic equivalent to a mugging; expensive and bad for the head."

Zaphod Beeblebrox the inventor of this wonderful drink.

Fortunately for us, the Earthly version of this drink is as far from a mugging as you can get, in fact it is really quite good.

Our friend Mike found a recipe for the cocktail on Geek and Sundry by accident and shared it with me. After looking over the ingredients I was rather intrigued. The color of course catches the eye and I can actually imagine some odd alien being sipping one in a busy lounge in outer space.

Ingredients:
.75 oz Gin
.50 oz Bourbon
1.0 oz Lemon Juice
1.0 oz Sour Apple Pucker Schnapps
.50 oz Blue Curacao
.50 oz Simple Syrup (optional)
Lemons for garnish

Method:
1. Fill a Martini/Cocktail glass with Ice to chill it. (always first ) 2. In a cocktail shaker half filled with ice add your Gin, Bourbon, Apple Schnapps, Blue Curacao, Lemon Juice, and simple syrup. 3. Shake vigorously for 15-20 seconds. 4. Strain into your chilled cocktail glass. 5. Garnish with a bit of lemon peel, twist the peel over the drink then run it around the rim quickly before dropping it in.

 

Caution Drink Carefully.

The mixing of flavors really works well in this recipe. You get a nice little taste of the Juniper from the gin and the lemon overtones somehow, work well with the apple schnapps. I served these to Mike and Tuna last game day and they liked the tartness that comes from the lemon juice. I personally find this pretty cocktail very refreshing and light. Which surprises me to no end, for I always associate colored drinks with overpowering sweetness. I think the best way to describe the complex flavor of a Gargle Blaster is this; "It's the first taste you get when popping a brand new green apple Jolly Rancher hard candy into your mouth. Sharp and tart but not painfully so." The beauty of the cocktail is that unlike the candy which becomes sickly sweet rather quickly, the drink just keeps giving you that first tart pop over and over again.

Warning!!!! These are so good you will want more than one, so be very careful. Both Mike and Tuna had two of these each, and I noticed a bit of slurred speech coming from my friends soon after. Not sloppy drunken hobo slurring, but a subtle catch here and there.

 So the next time you have some geeks/nerds over that you have not managed to maim, or alienate by kicking them in their soft parts, you should mix up a bunch of Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, I assure you it will be worth the effort.

Cheers
AL 
 

Gin Rickey

How Brian likey his Rickey.

As most of you know by now, one of my favorite past-times is to introduce new cocktails and drinks to our gaming group. When I say "new" I really mean new to us, for to be sure, most of the drinks we consume were invented long before any of us were born. I also believe strongly that; "to experience life one must step out of one's comfort zone and try something different", which is why I am constantly looking to bring a bit of variety to game day. This is not to say that I blindly throw out whatever comes to mind before my willing Guinea pigs (I mean friends) as that would prove counter productive to say the least. What I seek to accomplish is to please my guild mates with libations, to make them smile, and to ease away the drudgery of a mundane life, if but only for a little while. I am not always successful in my endeavors and have come up short many a time, yet overall I seem to have "hit the mark", by picking and serving cocktails that make people happy.

So it is that last week I brought forth to be tested by our board gaming friends, a very old, but wonderful drink called; the Gin Rickey.

The Gin Rickey is actually a variation of what was once called a Joe Rickey (which I also made for our group). The Joe Rickey was first crafted in the 1880's at Shoomaker's bar in Washington DC by a bartender named George A. Williamson. The story goes; that one Col. Joe Rickey, a Democratic lobbyist from Missouri, and part owner of Shoomaker's asked for a whiskey with seltzer water and lemon. Col. Rickey believed that cutting the whiskey with water and adding lemon would somehow make the drink more healthy than consuming a glass of bourbon neat. Soon thereafter other lobbyists, newspaper men, and legislators were lining up at the bar and calling for a "Joe Rickey" or simply "a Rickey". Eventually one could find this highball cocktail in taverns and bars from Maine to California, always served with either Bourbon or Rye whiskey.

Just toss in the squeezed lime half for a "lazy garnish"

It wasn't until about ten years later that the Gin Rickey was introduced and made famous the world over. Substituting gin for whiskey and lime for lemon the Gin Rickey became a summertime favorite everywhere, especially in Washington DC. Who made the change and why? No one can definitively say, but it matters not as the end result is that this drastic deviation from the original has been cooling and refreshing the thirsty since it's inception. Any drink that can stand the test of time, and our collective short attention spans, is worthy of at least trying once. One hundred and twenty five years of mixing and countless millions of people consuming is some pretty hefty evidence on the yay side of giving this drink a go.


Ingredients:
1.5 - 2.0 Oz Gin (Bombay Sapphire)
Limes (for juice and garnish)
Tonic/Seltzer water
Ice

Method:
Fill a Highball/Collins glass with ice, squeeze the juice of half a lime into glass. Next add your gin and top off with tonic/seltzer water. With your bar spoon give the drink one quick stir before serving. Garnish by dropping your squeezed lime shell into the glass also called "a lazy garnish".

Excellent game day drink, quick and easy.

 As I mentioned earlier I served these to the our group last week and they were a real hit. Mike liked the tart lime taste and described it as well.."limey". Valerie and Brian commented on my use of Bombay Sapphire gin saying that it didn't overpower the drink but rather blended smoothly with the other parts. Poor Tuna was sick with a terrible cold and passed on giving the Rickey a try. As for me well I simply love this gin drink as it is easy to make and quick to serve. I didn't spend my whole afternoon mixing and could actually be at the table for the start of the games. (Very rare for me).

Cheers
AL

a Bronx Cocktail, it's not what you'd expect.

A Bronx 

About a month ago a work mate of mine Brian S. darkened my office door and abruptly asked :

"Ever hear of a Bronx cocktail Al?"
"No. What's in it, Thunderbird and Kool Aid?".

Yeah I get to say such things as I used to live in that somewhat maligned borough of New York City, back when I was young, and though there are some very fine neighborhoods to be sure, my mind's eye raced right to one of the darker and seedy areas of the Bronx, Charlotte street. Thus, my somewhat witty and derogatory response to my well meaning friend. For when I was kicking about, you weren't going to be drinking anything grand down there, though you could have bought some nice crack, ahem, Jumbo to go with your bagged wine.

Of course I didn't frequent the area, my instincts of self preservation are just too strong, and stayed up in Kingsbridge where I belonged, yet the visual remains all the same. By the way, for all you sensitive sorts, the South Bronx is not what it used to be and all the towering abandoned buildings and trash filled vacant lots have been replaced with little ranch houses.

The Bronx cocktail is as far removed from dark alleys, winos, and crack dealers as one can get. As a matter of fact it was once called a rich man's drink and was associated with elegance and sophistication. An aperitif of refined taste for a discerning palate it was supposedly the favorite drink of author F. Scott Fitzgerald. Not that I care what he liked, the Great Gatsby, made me want to strangle the man, but I am quite sure another famous man, Arthur Flegenheimer a.k.a. Dutch Schultz partook of this wonderful concoction. If was good enough for the Dutchman hell it's good enough for the likes of me.

"Drink it or else"~ Dutch Schultz

In the 1930's this little Martini spin off was ranked number three in the "World's 10 most popular drinks" following the Manhattan number two, and the Martini as number one. Yet it has all but disappeared from bar and restaurant menus today. Ask for a Bronx in a cocktail bar and you will most likely be given the dreaded "barman stink eye" as he looks you up and down in confusion. So it is we are relegated to making this wonderful classic at home, for the most part.

Ingredients:

2 ounces London Dry Gin
.5 ounces Sweet Vermouth
.5 ounces Dry Vermouth
1 ounce fresh squeezed Orange Juice
Orange twist for garnish

Method:

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice, add gin, vermouth and orange juice. Shake vigorously and strain into a chilled cocktail or martini glass. Add an Orange twist for garnish (if you want to make the effort)

With a wee twist.



The above recipe is the original as created around 1905. Some newer versions that I have heard about ask for orange, or just plain old bitters to be added. You can do that, but then the cocktail is no longer called a "Bronx" but an "Income Tax".

The Bronx is a sweet drink without the uninteresting and sickly stickiness of some of our more modern cocktails. The Gin's natural juniper flavors are not overpowered by the juice and vermouth, but rather complimented by them. I encourage you to give this old drink a try the next time you are looking for something classy, tasteful, and refreshing. Wow! I never thought I'd be using those words to describe the Bronx.

Cheers
AL


  

The Tanqueray and Tonic, an all-time classic.

Sweet.

The first time I tasted Tanqueray Gin was back in the early 1980’s. I was living in the Bronx and my best friend Jim convinced me to try one. I was reluctant to be sure for many reasons, firstly the only Gin I had ever had up to that point had been some pretty nasty bottom shelf stuff which tasted like turpentine that my father had on hand. Secondly I was a true bigot back in those days, and anything that came from England, especially London, I boycotted. (Though it is distilled in Scotland these days) Yes I was young, passionate and stupid, now I am not so young or passionate but still pretty numb. Anyway Jim conned and cajoled until I had a wee sip just to make him shut up and leave off the topic.

And as they say, “the rest is History”.

 



A simple work of art.

To Make:  1.5-2.0 oz Tanqueray Gin,  3-4.0 oz Tonic water

Fill glass with Ice, add Gin, then Tonic water squeeze a lime wedge over the drink and add as garnish. Stir slightly so as to not flatten the carbonation and serve.

The TnT (yes like dynamite) is a crisp refreshing eye opening beverage that pleases most everyone. I believe that this classic’s popularity rests within the quality of the Gin itself. Tanqueray has a unique juniper bite to it that blends well with a bit of lime, cut with ice and tonic water. One does not have to “acquire” a taste for the TnT, its distinctiveness and simplicity grab you in a positive way right from the get go.



Add a splash of Cranberry juice for variety

I had forgotten this classic over the years, what with my driving passion for Bushmill’s, but Mike mentioned it in passing one afternoon and I decided to add it to our drink list for game day. Of course it was a success, so much so that the TnT has become Mike’s main cocktail when we all get together switching only occasionally to a Dark and Stormy for variety. Even Tuna, who has an unending thirst for dark rum, will have a Tanqueray or two when the fancy strikes him.  If you are looking for an easy to pour, light cocktail that tastes wonderful you can’t go wrong with the classic; Tanqueray and Tonic.

Cheers
AL